How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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