I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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