when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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