Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
