i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i believe in u and ur pee
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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