She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You left your phone here
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