Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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