3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I am mentally ready for anal.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
