Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
