can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize