I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
