you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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