You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
