So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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