Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
