i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
