I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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