Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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