im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He better not be in your backpack
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize