Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
