He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
