I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
