Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
