Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
