So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
