I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
