So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
