I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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