In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
