Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize