Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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