Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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