Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
