you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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