2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
