I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
