i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
