I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
