When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
