is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
