That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
