why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize