Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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