Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
