Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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