In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
