I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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