Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
