I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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