I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
