you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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