You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
