11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
