he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
