I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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