the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
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