What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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