it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
