just tell him i said nine months
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
