I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
