Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
