it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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