Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
