She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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