Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
50% drunk capacity currently
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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