nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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