Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
