a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
