If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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