Dual....:-)
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
