as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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