Is it because I queefed?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
